Monday, August 3, 2009

Resistance is Futile

In Matthew 5:39, Jesus tells us:

But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

Was Jesus aware of our Constitutional Right to Bear Arms when He said this? Is Jesus telling me to sell my gun collection? Does the Second Amendment not protect us from Governmental takeover? How can I stop the minions of evil from pouring into my home if I must not offer any resistance? Will Jesus post guards at my door to protect me? But how can they offer protection if they too cannot offer resistance? Are those who protect us, like law enforcement officers, really operatives of Satan, blatantly defying Jesus's directives with our own tax money?


What about our military? Does their preserving our freedom piss Jesus off because they're resisting the terrorists? Should we call them all back home so as not to go against His teachings? Were we wrong in resisting the spread of Communism? Should we have invited Stalin and his cronies here after World War II? And did we let Jesus down in the Second World War as well? In our effort to save the world from Fascism, did we plunge ourselves into sin? Was Marshal P├ętain a model Christian for surrendering France to the Nazis? Should the French rightfully be called the Chosen people?

And what exactly does Jesus mean by resistance? Is the deadbolt on my front door not a means of resisting? Are my family and I living in sin every night when we bolt our door? Will I have to answer for this at the Judgement Day? Should I leave the front door open as proof that I'm offering no resistance? Should we open the borders as well? How can we call ourselves a Christian nation when we have controls in place to resist the illegal entry of evil? What must Jesus think of us?

How about sports? Are defensive positions sinful? Should the defensive line open up and allow the ball to be carried over the goal line with no resistance? Would Jesus then be cheering from His Throne? Is defensive driving wicked? If someone wishes to run me off the road, should I offer no resistance? Should I simply drive in a ditch to preserve my sole? Should I cancel my appointment for a flu shot? If I offer resistance to the virus, am I in danger of the eternal fires of hell? Should we lay to waste the clinics offering such shots?

How about Jesus's directive to turn the other cheek when we are smitten? Which cheeks are being referred to here? Or is "cheek" just a metaphor? Should we always offer more to whosoever shall smite us? When the Japanese smote our Pacific Fleet, should we have offered our Atlantic Fleet as well? When the terrorists knocked down the World Trade Center, should we have led them to the Empire State Building? If the opposing team scores a touchdown, must we offer them a field goal too?

Or is Jesus simply telling us to never be in a position where we're on the defensive? He gave no restrictions about being on the offensive! Are we morally obligated to launch preemptive strikes? Is God on our side only while we're winning? If we strike first, are our opponents morally obligated to offer us no resistance? Should we walk down the street kicking ass before our asses are kicked? Should we kick the other cheek as well when it's turned to us?

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