Thursday, July 30, 2009

Death to the Infidels

Once again in Deuteronomy we see that God's hung up on the other gods. Chapter 13, verses 12 - 16 go like this:

12 If thou shalt hear say in one of thy cities, which the Lord thy God hath given thee to dwell there, saying,

13 Certain men, the children of Belial, are gone out from among you, and have withdrawn the inhabitants of their city, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which ye have not known;

14 Then shalt thou enquire, and make search, and ask diligently; and, behold, if it be truth, and the thing certain, that such abomination is wrought among you;

15 Thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword.

16 And thou shalt gather all the spoil of it into the midst of the street thereof, and shalt burn with fire the city, and all the spoil thereof every whit, for the Lord thy God: and it shall be an heap for ever; it shall not be built again.

God really needs to work on this insecurity thing He has. Like, it's really messing up His relationships. It's not healthy to be so jealous. Maybe He just set too high standards for Himself. I mean, being an omnipotent being has got to be hard.

I think its His insecurities that bring on the attacks of jealousy, which is really a cry for more love. Sure it's within His rights to ask for more affection. After all, He's God! But when self-doubts arise, the indirect way that jealousy demands attention is counterproductive. Excessive possessiveness is simply inappropriate. Jealousy is a fast way to drive away the very people He may fear losing.

Maybe His health insurance doesn't cover psychiatric help. Now about this directive of His - wouldn't God be more suited to know if someone in some other city is worshiping other gods? I mean, He's omnipotent, right? Can't He just read everybody's thoughts and then rain down some fire and brimstone on the infidels? Why is He relying on us to hear some rumors?

So am I obligated to hang around in bars and supermarkets listening for such rumors? And what if I hear a rumor and go to a city. What gods is God worried about here? Is it only the ones which we have not known which upset Him? What about the ones we do know, like Hercules, who had his own Saturday morning cartoon, or Trident, who was the Little Mermaid's dad in the Disney cartoon? Are they cool?

How lengthy an investigation must I conduct? Do I need character witnesses for my informants? Should I be slipping some twenties on the side to get the facts? And if it's true that they are serving other gods that they have not known, can I try to convert them? Or must I smite them even if they repent? Can God just not live with someone who's been unfaithful? Is it because the trust is gone?

What happens if during my interrogations I learn that the worshipers are Jews or Muslims? Can I breath a sigh of relief, since we all worship the same God? Can we peacefully coexist? Or am I morally obligated to smite them too since they don't worship Jesus as God's Son? And if so, when they hear rumors that Christianity is being preached in my town, are they obligated to smite us as well? Is the worship of Jesus the same as serving another god? What happens if the people from my town go forth to smite them at the same time they go forth to smite us? We'd all look pretty silly arriving in the other's town with no one there to smite. To eliminate that embarrassing situation, perhaps we should all just stay home and smite ourselves.

But if I must go and smite them, must I do it only by the edge of the sword? Can I use the tip of the sword if that would be more appropriate? Must I smite the whole town if only a few have been worshipping like crazed infidels? And what kinds of cattle must I smite while I'm there. Is God talking only about the bovines? Maybe he wants any animal that chews the cud to get the edge of the sword. Does this include rabbits too? And how can I destroy the town utterly if I'm only armed with a sword? Is it permissible to bring along a couple of M1 tanks?

After everyone has been smitten, what kind of spoils must gather in the street and burn with fire? Is God only referring to valuables and objects of culture and taste, or does He want everything piled up? What about the tacky furniture or the cheap crap from the likes of Walmart? Am I allowed to keep some of these spoils to offset my traveling expenses?

How shall I ensure that the city will remain a heap forever without ever being rebuilt? Should I make a tire fire? Maybe ignite a coal mine beneath the town? What if years from the date of utter destruction, someone tries to rebuild it? Should I smite them as well? Should I keep guards posted? Am I allowed to use nuclear weapons to discourage the rebuilding?

And who the hell is Belial?

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

O Come All Ye Hypocrites

Week after week, those who call themselves "blessed" invite me to come pray at their church. But with so many different Christian churches, how can I tell which one God approves of? So I searched the Bible for Jesus's teachings on praying in church. In Matthew 6:5-6 Jesus says:

5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

So what's Jesus trying to tell us? Do people only go to church to be seen by other people? Are their only thoughts on what others think of them? Do they get big rewards for praying in front of others? There sure is a lot of rewarding going on every Sunday from what I can see! Is this why America is the world's richest nation? Is this how people are surviving the recession? Why do they not share their rewards?

Why do people do this if Jesus spoke against it? Do they seek their rewards at church because church income isn't taxed? Why are the churchgoers so proud of what they do if Jesus isn't? Why does the Church not teach the people the words of Jesus? Better yet, why can the people not read it for themselves?

So is Jesus saying that I should only pray in the closet? What will God think when I come out of the closet? Does God not speak out against homosexuals in the Old Testament? Should I take a girl in the closet with me so God will know I'm straight? What all does my Father see in secret? Does He work with the CIA? MI6? KGB? Mossad? What kind of open reward will I receive? Will I be taxed on it? Does the IRS see in secret too?

Would Jesus be pissed at me if I went to church for the big rewards sometimes? Is Jesus more tolerant of the grand reward seekers during the recession?

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Shit Happens (Keeping Army Camps Holy) aka No Shit

Deuteronomy 23:9 tells what God expects to be done in Army Camps:

When the host goeth forth against thine enemies, then keep thee from every wicked thing.

Have our soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan been keeping themselves from every wicked thing? Is war itself not a wicked thing? Are our politicians who visit our Army camps not wicked things? What wicked things has God ordained our soldiers to keep themselves from? How can they keep from every wicked thing?

Deuteronomy 23:12 says:

Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither thou shalt go forth abroad:

So what the hell does this mean? What is meant by "whither thou shalt go forth abroad?" Couldn't God have been a little more clear here? Is He trying to say, if you need to take a dump, don't do it in the camp? Is defecation the wicked thing that soldiers must keep from? Are military toilets wicked? Should they be shunned? Is crap only wicked when it's in the camp? What if the Army camp is within a city? Can the soldiers storm the civilian houses to use their toilets? Should we have port-o-potties set out outside the fences?

Deuteronomy 23:13 tells us:

And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee.

Why can't the soldiers use toilets? What the hell is a paddle upon a weapon? Is this something to spank children with or to propel a canoe? What kind of weapons did they use back in Deuteronomy's day? Are our soldiers to use this paddle on their weapon to dig therewith? Is this God's way of saying "shovel?" Can they use their bayonets in an emergency?

How deep must they dig therewith? What is to be done if a soldier digs therewith and comes upon that which has cometh from another soldier? Can he deposit that which cometh from him on top of that which has already cometh from another? Or must he shit where no man hath shit before? Should the soldiers mark the spots where they have dug therewith and covered that which cometh from them? Can more than one soldier use the same hole at the same time for that which cometh from them? What must the soldiers do if they're under attack and cannot leave the camp to dig therewith? Must they hold it? Are special provisions made for tose with the runs? Should they be banished or stoned? If one has an accident and that which cometh comes where it should cometh not, should the others smite him?

Deuteronomy 23:14 explains why this is important:

For the Lord thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee.

Why is God walking in the midst of our Army camps? Will He be in uniform? Should we give Him a 21-gun salute? Will He offer to take command? Why can He not just smite our enemies for us instead of worrying about where we crap? Is feces the only unclean thing God's worried about seeing? Is He squeamish? Will He look in the toilets? Will He do the white glove test?

What happens if God walks in the midst of my camp and the camp of my enemy too? Will He choose the cleaner of the two? What if they're both clean? Will He wait until somebody shits on the ground to choose a winner? Should I try to scare the shit out of my enemies to secure a divine victory?

A Little Knowledge is a Bad Thing (Original Sin) aka Paradise Lost / Trouble in Paradise

Genesis tells the story of creation, and how God created the first man, who was known as Adam. In Genesis 2:15-17 we learn what God did with that man:

15 And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the Garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

16 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, "Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die."

Okay, a couple of questions here. First, who was writing this? There wasn't anybody around except God and Adam, right? That means that one of them was writing about himself in the third person, which is just weird.

Second, if God had this special tree that He didn't want Adam to eat from, why the hell would He put Adam right next to it? Couldn't He have put Adam in one garden and the forbidden tree in another? I mean, He had the whole planet at His disposal, didn't He? And why did God even need a tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Didn't He just build the whole planet like a week prior? God must have known good and evil before that, even without the tree. So who was the fruit of the forbidden tree for?

Genesis 2:18 goes on to say that man shouldn't be alone. Does this mean that Adam wasn't taking care of his bachelor pad? Was he leaving trash scattered all over the place and dishes undone? Whatever the reason, God decided to create a woman, who was later known as Eve. Genesis 2:25 tells us:

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

So were Adam and Eve just running around naked, eating freely from every tree but one with not a care in the world? What kind of other good things did God have growing in the Garden of Eden?

Anyway, all was well and good until one day Eve met a snake, as stated in Genesis 3:1 :

Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

Could all animals talk back then? Was the serpent the most subtil <sic> because he could talk? Who taught him, if not God? Did the same person teach Eve to talk? She not only understood the serpent, but she answered it as well. Genesis 3:2-3 tells us:

2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

Did Eve get different restrictions than Adam? Why was Adam only forbidden to eat the fruit, but Eve was forbidden to touch it as well? Was this the first case of sexism?

In Genesis 3:4-5 we learn of the serpent's response:

4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

Was the serpent calling God a liar? Was the serpent saying that God was keeping the really good stuff from the humans? How did the serpent know this? Had he eaten from the tree? Did he know good from evil? And why did he say "gods" in the plural? Were there some other gods out there writing this all down. It would eliminate the problem of someone referring to himself in the third person, but who were these other gods?

Verses 6 and 7 tell us what happened next:

6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

Does this mean that the serpent had been truthful? More truthful than God? Were Adam and Eve complete morons until they ate the fruit? Were they really too stupid to know they were naked? Did they even notice that the other was naked? Did they care? Would the human race have ended with those two? Were they just prancing around like the animals? Animals with no sex drive? Is this how God wanted humans to always live? Did God never want us to have any wisdom? And who taught the man and the woman to sew? Was that the serpent too?

Genesis 3:14-19 tell of God's reaction, and to say that He was pissed is putting it mildly:

14 And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:

15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

God didn't cut anyone any breaks, did He? But why was He so pissed? Did He take any blame on Himself for putting the tree there unnecessarily? Why did he want humans to be stupid? Did He never intend for us to have any wisdom? Why did He think it bad that we know good from evil? How could we worship Him if we were no different in intelligence than the animals? Why did He curse the snake for helping us? Why did He take Adam and Eve's disobedience out on all of us? Did the snake have legs before it was cursed to eat dust? God doesn't mention taking its power of speech, so why can't today's snakes talk?

Why does the Church teach that the serpent was Satan? The Bible doesn't say so, does it? Did the snake not help us in the long run? Would we all not just be running around stupid and naked if not for the snake? Why did God lie to Adam about dying on the same day he would eat from the tree? The Bible says Adam live for 930 years! And what happened to this husband ruling over the woman curse? Did that one just fade away?

Then in Genesis 3:22 we learn that there was a second tree that was pretty cool too! :

And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

Had Adam and Eve eaten from that tree too, would we all live forever? Would we be indestructible? Where would we all live? What would we do with the cemeteries? Why didn't the serpent mention the other tree? Why didn't the talking snake live forever? Who was God talking to when He said, "The man is become as one of us"? Was God talking to those other gods that the serpent mentioned? Were Thor and Hercules from the old Saturday morning cartoons real?Does God still live with His family? Why have we never met the others? Is God embarrassed by us?

A God Among Gods (The First Commandment)

Back when Moses was wandering around Sinai, God decided that we need ten commandments to live by. The first one, found in Exodus 20:3 and Deuteronomy 5:7, goes like this:

Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.

Now, just what the hell does God mean by "other gods"? What other gods? Isn't He the only one? Isn't He the one that our money says we trust in?

So if He's the only one, what's He so worried about? How could anyone have any other gods before Him if there are no other gods? Shouldn't God just have written something like, "Worship Me because I'm the One and Only!" Better yet, why did He write this commandment at all? If He's the only god, then there couldn't be any other gods to put first, could there? Did He just want to make an even ten commandments? Did he have a blank space on His stone tablet that He needed to fill in? Couldn't He have used this space for some other good Christian commandment, like "Thou shalt tithe" or something?

But since this is The First Commandment, isn't it the most important to God? Isn't this the first one He was thinking of when he got out His stone tablet and chisel? So if He wrote it that way, are there really other gods out there?

Well, Exodus 12:12 says:

. . . . and against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgment: I am the Lord

And Exodus 15:11 says:

Who is like unto thee, O Lord, among the gods?

And then Exodus 18:11 says:

Now I know that the Lord is greater than all gods

Does all this mean that there are other gods? God is not alone up there? So if the Bible is telling us that there are other gods, how are we supposed to act towards them?

Exodus goes on to say that Moses threw a fit when he came back with The Commandments, and smashed the tablets. Well God wasn't going to do all that writing over again. He figured that since Moses smashed them, he could write them over himself. Maybe then he'd appreciate the hard work that goes into writing on stone tablets. So God just dictated. In Exodus 34:14 He tells Moses to write:

For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.

So in His dictation God cleared up one small grey area: no worshiping other gods. But are we supposed to just ignore them entirely? Is God on friendly terms with these other gods? Are we being rude to God's friends? Are we embarrassing God in front of some other deities? Should we at least be doing a little venerating of the others? If so, is there a hierarchy of deities? We know that God wants to be at the top, but who's second? And third? And fourth? What if we get the rest out of order? Will the whole gang be pissed?

And is God's name really "Jealous?" Should our money say, "In Jealous We Trust?"

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

It appears that God is really obsessed with cleanliness. In the Book of Leviticus He calls a meeting with Moses and Aaron and just goes on and on about it. I really give credit to poor old Leviticus for writing it all down. Anyway, in Chapter 15 God goes into this great spiel about bodily discharges. Apparently these upset Him to the point where He felt compelled to give detailed instructions on how to deal with them. Right now it's the instructions concerning women that have given me reason for concern. Leviticus 15:19 tells us:

And if a woman have an issue and her issue from her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days; and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the evening.

Is God really serious about this? Where the hell are we to put these issuing women apart at for seven days straight? Are we to put them apart together, or does apart mean apart from each other too? Are we supposed to build some sort of internment camps for these women with "issues?" What do we do if they don't go voluntarily? We can't touch them or we too become unclean. Are we to find one woman with an issue who is willing to go, and get her to round up all the others? What difference would it make, since she's already unclean?

Another problem we have is how are families to survive if the women are put apart for seven days at a time? I mean, the women would be able to get along fine in these camps; they may even look on it as a time of rest and relaxation. But what the hell are the rest of us to do? I'm not saying that cooking and cleaning and laundry and such are women's jobs; I'm just saying that, in general, men screw them up royally when they try to do them. So will the Church send out some "clean" women who are void of issues to help any families who are lacking in competence when their women are put apart?

Also, how the hell can I know if a woman has an issue. In all my experiences with women, it's generally not a thing they freely speak about. Never once have I asked a woman how she was, only to have her reply, "Oh, I'm having an issue from my flesh today which is blood." Could this be that they fear being put apart for seven days if it becomes known that they have issues? In that case, how can I know for sure? Should I tell women that I need to know on religious grounds? Should I just avoid the ones who are bitchy? Will I be held unclean if touch an issuing woman if I didn't know she had issues? Is ignorance of issues a valid excuse? Should I just hang around with pregnant girls or really old ladies?

And what about this unclean until the evening thing for whosoever toucheth her. What the hell does that mean? If I touch a woman with an issue early in the morning, I'll be unclean all day long, but if I touch her at around 5:30 in the afternoon, my uncleanliness will only last 30 minutes or so? Does the uncleanliness magically go away when the evening comes? Can I cross time zones going east to become clean even faster? Does anyone whosever toucheth a woman with an issue have to be set apart until evening as well? Do we need male and female camps of internment, or can families stay together in their uncleanliness?

God doesn't stop with just one verse when it comes to women with issues. He just keeps going, through verses 20 - 23:

20 And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean; every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean.

21 And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the evening.

22 And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the evening.

23 And if it be on her bed or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the evening.

God seems to have got a little verbose here. So what's He trying to say? That not only is a woman with issues unclean, but everything she touches is unclean too? Is it like an anti-Midas Touch thing? How can I know what an issuing woman has touched if I go out into public? Is there a surefire way to know where such a woman has sat? Maybe back in the days of Moses, there was visible evidence if a woman with issues had sat on a bus seat, but what can I do in modern times? In these days of extra absorbency and multiple barrier protection, it's pretty much a secret. Did Satan create such feminine hygiene products just to thwart the will of God?

What about this washing clothes and bathing in water thing? God says that I'll be unclean until the magical onset of evening anyway, so what's the use? On the other hand, what if I use holy water?

And then, verse 24 says:

And if any man lie with her at all and her monthly discharge be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean.

So now what? If a man wakes up and his wife is having issues, he's just screwed for seven days? Does this mean that not even evening can help him? Will he be put apart too for a week? Who'll take care of the kids? Do workplaces offer paid "uncleanliness" leave? Will it count against my vacation time? Why the hell does God even care about this?

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Death to the Workers

Exodus 35:2 tells us:

Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the Lord: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death.

Well it's nice that God came up with some labor laws for us, but which day is considered the sabbath? If the first day of the week is Sunday, then wouldn't the sabbath be Saturday? But didn't The Church Council of Laodicea change it to Sunday, around the year 364? Did those guys get God's permission to change it? What if they just took it on their own without consulting God? Have we been resting on the wrong day? Should I not work two days just to be safe? This is a serious issue that must be cleared up! God's penalty for violation is death!

And what about God's death penalty? There doesn't seem to be any flexibility here. What about medical professionals or law enforcement officers? Are they all living in sin, just tempting the Angel of Death? What if my company schedules me for the weekend? Can I refuse on religious grounds? What if I'm injured on the sabbath? Must I wait for the following day to seek treatment? If a doctor treats me on the sabbath, will I be held culpable for going to him? Will I be put to death for leading another into sinful sabbath working?

And whose responsibility is it to bring death to those heathens who doeth work therin, on the sabbath? There has been plenty of work going on 24/7, yet there has been no global flooding nor raining down of fire and brimstone to stop it. Am I to take this to mean that upholding this righteous penalty is the responsibility of us, the good Christians? Is there a Christian hit-man that I can call for all religious smiting, or am I morally obligated to do it myself? If so, by what method should the wrongdoers be smitten? Should I call together the village elders for a good old-fashioned Biblical community stoning? Or can I use a 21st century method of execution of my own choosing? Would smiting the wrongdoers on a sabbath be considered work? If so, must I wait until the following day for all smiting activities?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Hebrew Slaves - Leasing verses Buying

For quite some time my wife has been saying that we need a maid, but I've always balked at the price. Today however, I may have found the answer to our problems in Exodus 21. The second verse goes as follows:

If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing.

Now I'm assuming that the cost of a slave is cheaper than that of a housekeeping service. The first question that I have though, is where are Hebrew slaves for sale to be found? I'm sure that in ancient Babylon they were quite plentiful, but here in 21st Century America, they're not easy to come by. I tried looking in the Yellow Pages, on Craigslist and Ebay, but came up with nothing. Also, does God allow only Hebrews to be owned as slaves? Is that the meaning of the "Chosen People?" If so, can they perform manual labor, or can I only get them to do things like bookkeeping or give legal advice?

Next, does the word of God override The Thirteenth Amendment? Section 1 of the amendment says:

Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

Does that mean I can only own Jewish convicts? Do I have to uphold the conditions of their punishment after I pay for them? In other words, do God and the US Government expect me to run a prison in my home? Will the government provide money for their upkeep?

What about this part that says he goes free after seven years? Am I buying the slave or leasing him? If it's a seven year lease, do I get the option to trade him in for another slave at the end of the term? Can I buy him outright after seven years? Will he remain under warranty during the whole time? Who will provide his health insurance? Is that my responsibility or God's?

If I understand correctly, the next two verses explain what happens if I just want to turn him in after the term. Verses 3 and 4 are as follows:

3. If he came in by himself, he shall go out by himself: if he were married, then his wife shall go out with him.

4. If his master have given him a wife, and she have born him sons or daughters; the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out by himself.

So this means that I have to turn him in in the same condition as I bought him. If I bought him single I return him single, and if I bought him married I return him married. And it goes on to say that I get to keep any improvements that I add during his slavery. If I get him a wife, then at the end I get to keep her and any kids she has.

Now what if he comes with a wife? Do I get to use her as well? Is it like a package deal? Does she have any mileage restrictions? And what if she expires? Will I be responsible for any replacement cost? Can I purchase additional insurance with lower deductibles in case the wife gets damaged?

And what if I decide to purchase an accessory to go with my slave, like a wife? Does she have to be Hebrew as well, or can I just purchase any woman so long as she's to go with a Hebrew slave? God doesn't specify? Do I have to buy a convicted woman to stay within compliance of the Amendment Thirteen? Can I claim these slaves on my taxes? Where are the boxes for slave deductions on the 1040A? What happens at the end of my lease if I don't want to keep the wife and kids? Can I turn them in with the slave? Can I split them up or do they have to stay together as a set? Will my refund be increased if I return some or all of them? Is there some sort of Blue Book that tells the going value for slave wives and kids? How can I be sure the slave leasers (or sellers) won't cheat me?

Verses five and six tell what happens if he wants to stay with his family:

5. And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free:

6. Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him for ever.

Will he be trained in the proper words to say? Will he say them in English or Hebrew? What if he loves me but not his wife? Can he alter the words to this incantation? Do I have the power to override if he utters these words? Can I trade him in anyway? And if I do have to keep him, what the hell is an aul and where do I get one? Will my slave ownership kit come with one? Whatever the hell it is, how deep do I have to bore his ear with it? Won't it decrease his value if I screw up his hearing by boring his ear? I guess it won't matter since I'll be stuck with him forever, but I'd still like him to have some equity in case I want to will him to my kids or grandkids.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

No Mingling!

God sure made a lot of rules for us to follow. It's good that people wrote them down, because there are just way too many to remember. Maybe that's why so many get ignored; because we just can't remember them all. Hell, most of them I've never even heard of, let alone remember.

Take Leviticus 19:19 for example. Here God says:

Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.

So in reference to cattle, what exactly does God mean? Is He only talking about bovine animals, or back in the Biblical days, did cattle include all domesticated quadrupeds? If that's the case, when He forbids the gendering with diverse kinds, does He mean that the pigs have to stay with the pigs and the sheep with the sheep? Is God advocating animal apartheid? Have horses and donkeys been living in sin with the creation of mules? Should we all go out and smite the mules in a religious fervor?

On the other hand, is it possible that God's use of the word "cattle" means that any domesticated farm animal can screw any other domesticated farm animal? Are mules kosher? Is it OK to let a horse screw a cow, or a pig a goat? So where are the lines drawn? If I see my goat trying to get it on with my dog, do I smite them both? If so, by what method? Do I call together the whole village and have them stoned?

God wasn't trying to place restrictions on genetic engineering, was He? I mean, they didn't have that back in the days of the Bible, . . . . did they . . . . ?

And what about the sowing of the fields with mingled seed? Will God hold me accountable if I get crabgrass and dandelions in my lawn? If my wife mixes geraniums and marigolds in the garden, should I expect fire and brimstone to rain down upon the house? Or does this directive apply only to crops? In that case, should we burn down the farms of the heathens who mix pumpkins and gourds every Hallowe'en?

Or are "field" and "seed" metaphors for the womb and the human seed? Is God really promoting segregation?

And finally we have the forbidding of the mingling of threads. What about the grey areas? Can I wear woollen underwear with silk pajamas? Or is the mingling forbidden only in a single garment? Should I rip all my tags out in case those threads don't match? Then how could I avoid putting my shirts on backwards? Is this something that God really cares about? Is this a serious directive? How do we even know what they use in the Third World sweat shops that make most of our clothes anyway?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Many Last Words of Jesus

Last words of famous people are always important. Look at Humphrey Bogart's dying statement of, "I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis." Or Winston Churchill's, "I'm bored with it all." And of course Pancho Villa, who left us with the words, "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."

But throughout history, whose last words could be more important than those of Jesus Christ? With that in mind, I sought His last words in the New Testament. The first book of the New Testament is Matthew. Chapter 37 of Matthew speaks of the Crucifixion, and in verse 46 we read:

And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

Fortunately Matthew was kind of enough to take the time to translate. However, this was rather disappointing. Jesus died on the cross with no parting advice - just a question to God. Matthew doesn't even tell us if God answered. I think it would have been pretty interesting to hear God's reply. I mean, if He forsake His Son, I'd like to know what to do so He doesn't forsake me too!

The next verses go on about some people getting confused and thinking Jesus was calling for Elias. Were these English speakers who couldn't understand the native language? Why couldn't Matthew translate for them too?

Next I went to Mark. Mark got to the Crucifixion in only 15 chapters. Mark 15:34 says the same thing as Matthew 37:46. Unfortunately, Mark doesn't pay attention for an answer from God either. He also goes on about the same fools waiting for Elias to come to Jesus. Why were neither of these guys listening for God's reply?

The next book is Luke. Luke 23:46 tells us:

And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.

Now what the hell is going on here? Luke heard something altogether different! Why didn't Luke hear Jesus's question about being forsaken? And why didn't Luke talk about the confused English speakers? Hadn't Luke been paying attention? Was he just making things up as he went along? Exactly how credible was the word of Luke? What about all the cool stuff that Linus says each year in "The Peanuts Christmas Special"? Things that we all know, like:

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

That's from Luke Chapter 2, and none of the other gospels have that in them. Mark and John don't mention the birth of Jesus at all, and Matthew just gives it one line (Matthew 1:25) after getting bogged down with all the "begats." So was Luke just daydreaming during the First Christmas? Did he just made up a bunch of things later for us to use in holiday TV specials? Did he make up things about The Crucifixion too?

I turned to John to get some confirmation. John 19:30 says,

When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost.

Where was John standing to hear only that? No mention of Jesus speaking to God at all - just His telling us that it's finished. Does this mean that John has no credibility either? What about John 3:16, where John tells us:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

People have made fortunes putting this on signs and billboards from New Jersey to California, but now the credibility of the guy who wrote is in question. What if John only made that up? Think of all the empty signs and lost income if that gets out!

On the other hand, how do I know that I can trust Mark and Matthew? Just because their stories match doesn't mean that they're right. Maybe they didn't make it to The Crucifixion in time. Maybe they just collaborated on some fabrication together. Or maybe one wasn't paying attention. Maybe he fell asleep, or was flirting with some girls or something. So maybe he copied off of the other.

The big question here is which gospel do we believe? Should I doubt all four until I know the truth? With something so important, couldn't they have sat down together and made sure their stories matched? Were they in some kind of competition, or what? Was creative writing a big thing back then? Did they get a prize for the most original story? Couldn't someone have sat down and edited this later? Isn't it an editor's job to find errors? God was writing back in Genesis; why didn't He edit out the errors in the gospels?

More Unexplained Mysteries of the Bible at "Uncensored News"

Check out some more unexplained mysteries of the Bible at Uncensored News, not to mention some other interesting Non-Biblical facts too!

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Monday, July 20, 2009

Cast Away Offensive Body Parts

Today I decided to go to the New Testament for guidance. I saw that Matthew and Mark both have some advice on how to stay out of hell (even if it means you won't be going to heaven intact). Matthew writes about it twice, in Chapters 5 and 18, so I'll quote one of his passages here. This is Matthew 5:29-30 :

29. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

30. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

It seems like this could have been summed up in one verse, by starting out with "And if thy right hand or right eye offend thee . . . . " But who am I to question such things. Mark wrote the same way (Mark 9:43-47) and even added a right foot in there, so obviously this is the right way to express it.

One thing that isn't mentioned here is how we're supposed to function once we've started cutting and casting away. What if my right hand starts getting offensive with me? Neither I nor anyone I know have performed any amputations, so where do I go for guidance? Won't there be a lot of blood involved? Can I get a doctor to do it? Is the cutting off and casting away of limbs covered by most insurance policies?

Once I cut my offensive hand off, how am I supposed to do things like open a jar of pickles? Can I ask my neighbor for help? But with my right hand cast away, how could I hold the jar and knock on my neighbor's door at the same time? And once I've cast away my right hand, what do I do if my left hand starts offending me? Does insurance cover prosthetic limbs when the real ones have been cut off for religious reasons?

What about the eye thing? "Plucking" sounds like something reserved for a chicken or a Thanksgiving turkey. Is plucking an eye just as simple? Will I have to retake my vision test at the DMV afterwards?

And what do I do if some body part of another person is offending me? If someone at work has an offensive nose, can I cut if off and cast it away for him? Would this be proper under the pretext of keeping him out of hell? What about someone with offensive breath? What if someone offends me in thought? Are there any limitations that must be observed here, or can I just go plucking, cutting and casting away unrestrained, as long as such actions are sanctioned by God?

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Raising Cain (The First Murder)

In the first book of the Bible, Genesis, Adam and Eve got kicked out of the Garden of Eden and Adam had to till the land. No more laying around in the lush paradise for him. I'll bet he was kicking himself in the ass for all of his 930 years. Anyway, after leaving the Garden, God must have kept watching them. With nobody else on earth, who else could He watch? And He must have written down all of their exploits too. Well, maybe Adam and Eve wrote about themselves, I don't know. But somebody was writing. Genesis 4:1 tells us:

And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived

In fact, she conceived more than once. Their first two kids were boys. The eldest was named Cain and the younger, Abel. Genesis 4:2 tells us:

And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.

I guess there weren't a lot of career choices back then. Maybe it would have been nice if one of the kids could have gone into medicine or engineering or something. But they both decided to stay around and help Dad with the farm. Eventually these two had enough where they decided to make an offering to God. Abel gave the firstlings of his flock and Cain gave some fruit of the ground. Genesis 4:4 and 4:5 tell us:

And the Lord had respect unto Abel and to his offering:

But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.

Now why the hell did these two make their offerings at the same time? God probably filled up on lamb and had no room for vegetables. Why couldn't Cain have just waited until God was hungry again? Then he could have saved himself some wrothness and a fallen countenance. But we all know how young people are, so Cain was walking around wroth with an unrespected offering. Then in Genesis 4:6:

The Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?

Now this seems a pretty weird question for God to ask. I mean, I can figure what wrothed Cain off and gave him a fallen countenance, so why couldn't an Omnipotent Being get it as well? Did God really know what was going on and was He just trying to wroth Cain off even more? Did He just want Cain to try harder and get his offering in first next time? Well, Genesis 4:8 says:

And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.

So that whole plan backfired, didn't it?! Now there'd be no more firstlings of the flock offered at all. Why did God piss Cain off like that? Having no brothers, didn't God understand about sibling rivalry?

The very next verse of the Bible tells us:

And the Lord said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother?

Did God really not know where Abel was? With only 4 people on the earth, had God actually lost track of 25 percent of them? And did Cain even have time to get out of the field before God asked him this? Cain, even though he was probably still standing next to the body, did a pretty good job of avoiding the question by asking another question:

And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?

Cain would have done well as the world's first lawyer. Apparently God wasn't falling for it though. It seems He knew what was going on all along, for He shot back with:

What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground.

Well, Cain knew if there was crying blood, he was screwed. He started whining, and in Genesis 4:14 he said:

And it shall come to pass, that everyone that findeth me shall slay me.

What the hell does Cain mean by "everyone?" The only two people left are his parents. This brings up some interesting questions too. What would the parents think about the murder. They couldn't very well say things like "He gets that from your side of the family." Anyway, Cain is worried about everyone killing him, so in Genesis 4:15:

The Lord said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the Lord set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him.

So is God going along here and humoring Cain? If He humors Cain by playing along that there are multitudes of other people out there, why didn't He humor Cain by pretending to like his offering? Would it have hurt God to say something like, "Hey Cain, nice fruits of the ground you gave me!" and then just dump it in the trash can when Cain wasn't looking? That could have prevented this whole ugly situation. Did God even look at Cain's fruit of the ground? It may not have been anything like broccoli or asparagus. It could have been the best Weed" that side of the Tigris and Euphrates.

So how could vengeance be taken sevenfold for the murder of Cain? Would God just keep bringing the person back and killing him seven times? Wouldn't that be cruel and unusual punishment? And what was the mark God put on Cain? Was it just a sign that said "Don't Kill Me By Order of God?" Who could read back then? God seems to have liked to mess with Cain, so maybe he put a "Kick Me" sign on his back.

Now verses 16 and 17 really get weird. Here we're told that:

Cain went out from the presence of the Lord, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden.

And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city

So does this mean that God had been hiding a whole subdivision called "Nod" just to the East of Eden? And who was Cain's wife? Was Eve not the only woman on the planet? Should we call the Oedipus Complex the "Cain Complex?" And how big was this city that he built by himself? I mean, he was just a farmer, not an architect.

Who wrote all this stuff down? I would think that God would be too busy. But if not God, then it had to be Cain. Why did he incriminate himself? There weren't any witnesses. God didn't even see it. He only knew because of the crying blood, which may not have been admissible in court. Maybe if the case went to court, the court would have taken into consideration mitigating circumstances. Cain did come from a weird family. Could a good lawyer have got his sentence reduced by claiming diminished capacity? Could Cain have represented himself? Where would they find 12 people for a jury?

So why is this story even in the Bible? What does it teach us? Why did Cain get off so light when a few chapters later God's gonna want to kill the whole world in a Great Flood because He thinks they're all wicked. ? Why didn't anyone except Noah receive the "Don't Kill" mark? Will God put a "Don't Kill" mark on any of is who kills, or is it only killing over a disrespected offering when wroth?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

To Covet Or Not To Covet

In Exodus 20:3-17, God gave us the Ten Commandments to follow. Right now, it's the last of these which is bothering me. Exodus 20:17 goes like this:

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.

Now my question here is about the part concerning the coveting of my neighbor's wife. This Commandment seems to have a lot of grey areas here. I mean, what exactly did God mean by "covet" in regard to women. It really isn't a word that most of us have in our everyday vocabulary. Has anyone ever heard a man tell a woman, "I covet you with all my heart"? How about, "I covet you to be my wife"? Or has anyone ever said things like, "Man, I could covet her all night long," or "What that girl needs is a good coveting"?

The dictionary says that "to covet" means to desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others. So coveting is just desiring in a rather excessive way. Well then, what if I just desire my neighbor's wife but keep it within respectable limits? What would God consider a satisfactory level of coveting to be? Does coveting only refer to desiring for the purpose of sexual relations? What if I covet her to come over and cook me dinner or clean my house? Is that a wrongful desire in the eyes of God? Finally, if it's only the act of coveting that displeases God, do I have the right to rape my neighbor's wife as long as I don't really covet her in the process

Another thing that bothers me here is, who is my neighbor's wife? Does it have to be a legal marriage for her to be considered a wife? What if they're just living together? Do common-law spouses count where coveting is concerned? How about girlfriends? Are they open targets for unbridled coveting?

And which wife are we talking about here? I mean, the Commandment refers to only one wife, stating "neighbor's wife" as opposed to "neighbors' wives." But which wife of which neighbor doesn't God want me coveting? No one ever notified me of who the forbidden woman was when I first reached the tender age of my first covet. Does this mean that I get to choose the one that I shan't covet?

If the Commandment does refer to neighbors in the plural, then how far does the term "neighbor" extend? What if there's a wife a few blocks over who's worthy of a covet or two? Is she acceptable to covet since she's out of the immediate neighbor range. Or does it include the whole neighborhood? Or neighboring villages? Neighboring states? Neighboring countries?

Why does this Commandment have to be so vague? How can we live pious lives if we don't know where the zone of forbidden coveting ends? I need to know at what point I can begin coveting wives with a clear conscious!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Give the First of Everything

Exodus 22:29 states the following:

Thou shalt not delay to offer the first of thy ripe fruits, and of thy liquors: the firstborn of thy sons shalt thou give unto me.

My first question is, must I give the first of all my ripe fruits, or just the first of the whole group of fruits that I buy? If it's just the first of all the fruits, can I buy something cheap like bananas first and give it to God, while keeping all the cherries and grapes for myself? Would God know if I did this? And what about tomatoes? Are they fruits or vegetables?

What about the liquors? Does the same deal apply as with the fruits? Would God be pissed if I gave Him a bottle of Boone's Farm wine and kept the cognac for myself? Is God a social drinker? Should I invite Him over for a beer? If I do, will He bring back some of the liquor that I had to give Him?

And what about this firstborn son thing? How long will God have the kid? Will I still be able to claim the kid on my income tax? Will He have the boy back in time to start school in September? I'm not going to be obligated to pay some sort of child support while God has the kid, am I? If so, this seems a little oppressive, what with having to give up some fruit and liquor too!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

How to deal with a stubborn son

My wife and I have been having a bit of trouble with our 6 year old son recently. The boy is just at that stage of life where he's stubborn and rebellious. I wondered how the blessed people would handle such a kid, and so I turned to the Bible for help. My search led me to Deuteronomy 21:18-21.

Verses 18 & 19 go like this:

18. If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

19. Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place.

Well so far, this passage seemed to be leading me in the right direction. We had certainly chastened him, depriving him of his gameboy and i-pod for hours at a time, yet the kid had just refused to hearken to us. And so, I figured that we'd have no choice but to bring the boy out unto the elders of the city. This presented a problem though, since I didn't know who the elders were. However, a quick look in the yellow pages cleared that up, for it advised me to look under "Nursing Homes." So, preparing to take the boy to the local nursing home, I read further to see what to do next.

Verses 20 goes as follows:

20. And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.

So here is where my questions begin to arise. Do I have to say unto all of the elders at once, or can I just select one or two who don't seem too senile. Also, must I use the words exactly as stated above? I mean, is this like some sort of magical incantation? And what do I do if the boy isn't really a glutton or a drunkard? Sure, he overeats from time to time, but I wouldn't say that it's to the point of gluttony. And the drunkard point would really be a lie. I do seem to have a vague memory of giving the kid a little wine to, let's say, help him get to sleep, but I hardly think that counts as being a drunkard.

Verse 21 tells the punishment required after bringing the boy to the elderly. It states:

21. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

This part may give me some problems with my wife. So, can I use that drunkard part in verse 20 as a loophole? If he doesn't fit all of the qualifications, can we at least wait until he starts drinking on his own. If not, do all the men of the city have to stone the boy with stones? Can any be excused on grounds of illness of prior obligations. If not, it may be a little hard to get all the men together at one time. How long can such a stoning with stones be put off? What do people in large cities like New York do for such all-male stoning activities. Also, where can I find information concerning the specifications of the stones? Is this knowledge of the elders?


Zack Brandit Review

After submitting this post to a discussion on Blog Catalog titled, "Tell Me Your Blog and I will Tell You How It's Perceived By Your Readers," the post originator, Zack Brandit, was kind enough to give me this response:

Hello NT,

Thanks a lot for joining the discussion. It was very interesting to read your posts where you try to let your readers understand how you perceived the Bible.

Sometimes believing that the word is viewed through their own perception,similar bloggers Assist their readers to achieve awareness is significant for them so that they can utilize this awareness to further strengthen their message and information.

Your writing style is methodical and follows a unique, personal pattern. An introduction with a Bible verse, you ask many questions in each post but you are not trying to respond all of them, :-), you give your own opinion.Your blog can sometimes be perceived as harsh or passionate.

Also, similar blogs do not really care about a personalized domain name until they get what they perceive as enough followers to warrant such a thing. They consider their message more important than their name.

Advertisements do not typically appear on their blogs, unless they are a reflection of their own inner world because they often feel a need to control the content. Most often when advertisements are present, the purpose is to support their ideas in the form of organizations, institutions and books.

Your blog may be perceived like an Admonisher:
The Admonisher:
The AdmonisherEager to inform and encourage a particular way of thinking, the Admonisher is a master communicator. Based on a combination of conviction and facts, Admonishers are encouraging us to be mindful of our ethical behaviour.

The Admonishers are standing in the hallway, pointing to the door they wish for their readers to open, metaphorically. They seek to speak to our conscience. They can be the voice of reason or speak from the perspective of the “devil’s advocate”. They want to provide their information with all or some topics ranging from why we exist, how we can make a difference to are we making things better, worse or working toward a shift of some kind. They encourage us to be accountable for our actions.

However, first and foremost, Admonishers are creative people. Known for being capable and crafty communicators, they use their storytelling abilities to convey their message. They tend to be quite persuasive and typically people will consider the Admonisher’s information and reflect on past and future choices, whether they are perceived by others as good or bad. Regardless of the choice of the reader, helping people reflect deeply about their actions is important to the Admonisher. Their inspired mind and specific angle differentiates them from others and creates their feeling of purpose within society.

Admonishers believe that the world is viewed through one’s own perceptions. Assisting their readers to achieve this awareness is significant for them so that they can utilize this awareness to further strengthen their message and information. Admonishers are often writing long but intriguing monologues to explain their “inner” world. This means it is important to them for their readers to know why and how the world should exist a certain way. Interaction is not their forte and they will not seek to intermingle on other grounds such as social networks, they merely wish to convey their message.

Their writing style is methodical and follows a unique, personal pattern. Depending on the bloggers’ personality and experiences in life, some Admonishers may be perceived as harsh or passionate, while others are ostensive or rhetoric. Others may tell great anecdotes, but the focus always returns to the conveyed messages.

Admonishers are often quite knowledgeable and deliver their information based on their own interpretations. They often demonstrate their thoughts by various means to be sure to get their message across to their readers. Most Admonishers use a clear, concise layout and menu. They will also have a limited list of links to related blogs within their own blog (aka blog roll) and few external links. The focus lies on the content and not actual format of the blog, despite their creativity.

Most Admonishers do not really care about a personalised domain name until they get what they perceive as enough followers to warrant such a thing. They consider their message more important than their name.

Advertisements do not typically appear on their blogs, unless they are a reflection of their own inner world because they often feel a need to control the content. Most often when advertisements are present, the purpose is to support their ideas in the form of organisations, institutions and books. Persuading others to follow their advice, message or utilize their information is frequently viewed by the Admonisher as being more important than money.

Your Admonisher Zilhouette

Thanks for your feedback

Thank you Zack, for kindly taking your time to review my blog. :)

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Your Opinions (on God, the Bible and Religion)

Even if you've arrived here by accident, please take a minute to leave a comment with your views on the following:

1. Is the Bible the true word of God and/or Jesus, or is it just a collection of stories written by man? Has it remained intact and pure over the centuries or has it been twisted around and changed by man to suit those in power?

2. How did humans come about on earth? Were we created by an omnipotent God; did we evolve naturally from lower life forms; are we the result of some sort of engineering or modification by a superior race; or did we get here by some other means?

3. Does organized religion help to guide us, or is it simply a tool to control the masses?

Thank you for your time :)